More Tips To A Stronger Confidence Foundation

More Tips To A Stronger Confidence Foundation

CB003 - More Reinforcement Toward The Unshakeable Confidence Foundation

You’ve already built and started make your confidence foundation solid…

Now, we’re going to layer on a few more simple things that will help to give you unshakeable confidence.

We’re going to talk about how what you wear will make people change their attitude toward you, give you space and treat you with respect. You’ll hear a wonderful story about how a young student transformed from a typical ‘sloppy’, non confident person into someone who commanded respect as soon as she ‘plucked up the courage’ to go change her clothes - that alone is worth tuning in for.

But there’s more, you’ll also discover how ‘wonder woman’ can be your friend and help you to transform.. why not listen now to get the full scoop on how to make your confidence foundation bedrock?.

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Click To Read Show Transcript Now

More Steps To Reinforce Your Confidence Foundation

Hi there! My name is Stuart and I'd like to give you a big warm welcome to Confidence Bytes, the show that helps you start your week the confident way. Now, in previous episodes we were talking about simple things that you can make habits out, of that will help you to create a solid foundation of confidence. They will help you to feel good about yourself, to feel proud of yourself, to feel so special that you can only go forward with more and more confidence.

If you remember we talked -- started with my goodness, I am good, my ‘I AM GOOD’ sheet. You write down a 100 things or more about how good you are and then you fold it on a -- you write it on a piece of paper and you fold it and you put it in your pocket. And you take it around with you every day and you feel how good you are. You're feeling your goodness. And then you set your alarm with your phone every hour, take it out, look at it and then remind yourself, I'm good and you smile. And then we built on that habit.

We started writing down all the things that you can do. So you made another sheet, you wrote down ‘I can do’. And you put that with your ‘I AM GOOD’ sheet and you put it in your pocket. And you did the same, every hour you took it out of your pocket, you looked at it, you looked at both of them and you smiled to yourself. You say, “Yeeeess! I'm good! I can do so many things." And you start feeling better.

And then we moved on a little bit further with a Success Diary, every single success that you've had in your day, you write down. Did you get up at 7 o' clock? Yes, that was a success! Did you do this? Yes, it was a success! Everything, doesn't matter how small or how big and you write them all down. Did you make a mistake? Did you learn from it? Yes, a success! So you're building on successes.

And what we need to do is we need to make it a habit for you to think of all the good things, all the things you can do and all the successes that you have. Focus on those, don't focus on the mistakes, don't focus on things like that. Focus on the good.

So here's another little tip. You can take a rubber band, put it on your wrist. There you are. Now, every time you look at your wrist, you see this. Just to let it remind you of your success, let it remind you of how good you are, how special you are. Every time you see it, think of those things. And every time you see it, smile, because you are special. Think about that. Do that. Make good success.… Make good confidence habits. Habits are formed. So it makes sense to form good confidence habits, doesn't it?

Well, this -- in this show we're going to build upon this foundation. “I'm happy, because I'm so successful. I saw my rubber band.” Okay. We're going to build on it. And we're going to do a very simple exercise to help you smile more. Take a pencil. And maybe you want to do this when you're home, may be in the office is not a good option. But you put the pencil here in your mouth. And it might seem stupid. It might make you laugh at me, but that's good because it's helping you to smile.

But what happens is when you put it there, you feel your cheeks have to move up to open your lips and you feel the muscles start working. And you're training those muscles to keep more the smile in your face. It's something I need, because I don't always smile so much. I know I should, but I just have this bad habit that I'm getting rid of. So I've got my pencil. I'm on a computer. I'm on the computer with it. And I smile at myself, because I look so bloody stupid.

But anyway, it's good. It's a great habit to get into. Do that everyday and as many times as you can. And the other thing we talked about was, “YYEEESS! I'm so good!” the victory pose. So those things keep doing them, make them a habit. Every time you see a mirror look at yourself and say “yes”. And if you're in public, just imagine yourself doing it and you will smile. It's so effective and so simple.

And now I want to talk about clothes and how your clothes can change your feeling about yourself; your -- the way people treat you. And I want to illustrate this with a wonderful little story. A few years ago I was working with a girl who's 18 years old, she's a student and she was just leaving high school and she wanted to go to Hong Kong University. And she needed to go through an interview and she wasn't sure how to handle the interview, etcetera, etcetera.

So she came to see me and we were talking.

And I said to her: “what are you going to wear?”

“I’ve bought some nice… a lovely suit, a lovely suit.”

I said: “what does it feel like to wear it?”

“Well, you know, when I bought it it felt okay.”

“But what does it feel like to wear it,” I said, “every day?”

“I don't know.” she said.

I said, “Well, you know, why don't you go home tonight, why don't you put it on and see what it feels like to wear it? You can wear it at home, no one's going to look at you, no one's going to make you feel stupid, just get used to it…”

“I don't normally wear a tie. And if I have to wear a tie, if I -- I'm thinking of this. It's probably 10 or 20 years since I've worn a tie. And if I have to put a shirt on with a collar and I have to do the collar up or put a tie on it just feels so horrible. It just feels so restricting, I can't breathe and I'm scrunching myself and it just doesn't work, because I'm not used to wearing a tie…”

“So why don't you just go home, as I say, put it on tonight, sit around the house, do the normal things and just see how it feels.”

So she agreed and she went home and came back a few days later.

I said, “Well, how was it wearing the suit?”

She said “No, it just felt strange, it didn't feel right to be wearing the suit at home so I took it off and put my normal clothes on”

And you know, her normal clothes, typical student. Sloppy jeans, sloppy T-shirt, she has a sloppy bearing and everything else. She doesn't exude confidence. She just came across it just sort of like a typical sort of teenager.

I said, “Okay, let's do it again, but this time just wear it until you get used to it. It might take time, but just get used to it. Every night wear it, watch TV, do the things you normally do, do your homework; whatever it is you do, just have your suit on and just get used to wearing it.”

So next time she came I asked her and she said, “No, its actually getting more comfortable. And when I see myself I smile, because I look nice.”

And I said, “That's great! It's wonderful. Congratulate yourself for that.”

“And what about your shoes? You know many people, they buy brand new shoes. They're not used to wearing high heels. You know, you're wearing takkies, training shoes or takkies. Its -- its probably going to be very difficult for you to -- to -- to -- to feel comfortable in high heel shoes unless you're used to them. Why don't you put them at home tonight and do the same thing.”

And I said: “I know many people who buy a brand new pair of shoes and they hurt their feet for a long time, because they haven't broken them in. You don't want that in an interview. You don't want to be thinking about your feet hurting like anything or not being able to walk properly. So just wear them at home.”

So she went home and she wore them around the house, which is not usual but she did so and she started getting used to them.

And gradually, over the course of several sessions she got more and more comfortable with these clothes, they became her identity.

And then I said to her, I said:

“Okay, now you're -- you're more used to them, put them on tonight, go out for a walk and just see how you feel walking around at night with them. And if you want if you, if you -- if you feel like it go to the shop, go to the supermarket where you regularly go and see how people react to you differently. See how people will change their attitude towards you and treat you much more, with much more respect.”

So she agreed she went home and after a couple more days of practicing like this she came back and I said:

“Well, how was it?”

She said “I can't -- can't believe how all the people are treating me differently. They were much more respectful, they were much more deferential to me and I felt so good. I looked around, I just felt so good.”

And as she was saying this I noticed her bearing, her whole posture had changed. She's still wearing a T- shirt, she's still wearing her jeans, but her whole posture had changed. She became more erect, her body language became more open, her head was up and she just exuded more confidence.

So this is what I want you to do. I want you to get used to wearing nice clothes that make you feel special, that make you feel like a million dollars. And then see how people react differently to you, see how people are more -- favourable to you. And here's a funny thing. If you have a good posture, a good bearing and nice clothes and you walk down a busy street, people will move out of your way because they know that this person is special. So I want you to get used to that feeling, because you are special. There's nobody in this world like you, you're so special.

And when we're talking of posture, it's also important to think about your posture. If you have your shoulders down like this and you head's down, nobody will look at you and say you're confident and you won't feel confident. The same with your feet. If you're standing there with your feet pressed closely together, your legs pressed closely together, you tend to rock.

Confident people don't do that. They have their feet wide, firmly planted on the ground and they stand there in a Wonder Woman or a Superman pose, hands on hips type thing, shoulders back, head erect, the whole body is open but they just have this confidence oozing out them.

So this is something that you can practice. Think of Superman, think of Batman, think of the superheroes, Wonder Woman in the comics, how do they stand. Look at the pictures. Picture them in your mind. They stand there as I say, legs, slightly apart, hands on the hips, chest back, proud bearing, a sort of nice confident smile, half smile on the face and they just stand there. You can do that at home. Go home, look in the mirror in the bathroom and just stand there and put this feeling of happiness in yourself. Look at me, I'm so good.

And then think of a memory, a memory, something you did which made you feel so good. Think of maybe when you were a child you started writing and you could write the letters A, B, C, D or whatever and you were so proud of it and you're just running around, showing everybody, look at this, look at this or your first picture or something, it doesn't matter whatever success, think of it in your mind. And then let that feeling come, come and look in the mirror and just say, yes, I'm so good.

And if it helps you take out your ‘I AM GOOD’ sheet, take out your ‘I CAN DO’ sheet, look of them first, “YES!” do your victory salute. And then stand there and just look at yourself and just savour that feeling; that feeling of confidence, that feeling of goodness, that feeling of how special you are. Do it everyday. Why don't you set your alarm for one hour or just get your rubber band or just whenever you go to the loo, just do it for five minutes. And you'll see a massive difference.

And whilst we’re talking of head posture. You know, a very good way to make sure your head posture is erect and very confident is to sort of put your head down, look at the floor gently, then just look up, slowly and gently, and then rock it backwards and forward, get a pause until it just sits there in the right place. Now, if you've got any mobility problems or any doubts, you can always consult your doctor first. And the key is you do this gently and slowly. There is no movement, rapid movements. Just do gently -- you'll feel it, just sit nicely.

And what happens is its aligning your whole body. The energy can come down through your crown chakra, your throat is exposed, your chest is exposed, your stomach and -- and -- and intestine area is -- is exposed, your groin is sort of exposed. So you're saying to people, ‘Look at me, I don't have to hide or protect anything, because I have got confidence. And I can radiate that confidence through all the chakra's in my body to you.’ So that's something you need to practice.

As I say, you must make it a habit. Good confidence habits. Habits are formed -- you will form good confidence habits.

And I had a friend of mine, good friend of mine who is an executive coach and she had a, what's it called, not a presentation; she had to facilitate a meeting, a conference or something for a couple of days and I gave her the same tip. I said do your victory pose, do your Wonder Woman pose. And she was a little bit sort of skeptical, but she did it.

On the morning, the first morning, she went the bathroom, there's nobody there at the conference venue. There's nobody there so she quickly went in and she did her confidence pose, she did a Wonder Woman pose and she stand, stood there for few minutes, smiled at herself; and she gave a wonderful performance. People loved her, because she was radiating confidence. She was radiating… She knew what to do… Success.

Practice. Make this a habit, get your rubber band, put it on. Every time you feel it or you notice it, look in the mirror smile, get your pencil if you need to, smile, do the things, makes them habits.

And the last little tip I want to give you is if you're in a meeting situation for instance, claim your space. Don't sit at the table all hunched up so that: ‘no, I don't want to take any space.’ Don't be a timid mouse. Don't put your book, your pen, your phone or whatever on top of -- on top of each other and take up as small a space as possible. Spread them out. Claim your space, because that tells people you're confident, and you are.

And look around at the people in the meetings you go to, the powerful people, the confident people, the people who get noticed do this. Because they're silently signalling to everybody, I'm someone special, I am confident. Treat me with respect. And this is what you are going to do. This is what all these little things start building… this solid foundation of confidence.

So let's recap quickly:

‘I AM GOOD sheet.’

‘I can do.’

‘Smile.’

‘Success diary.’

‘Victory pose - Yeees!’

‘Wonder Woman, Superwoman.’

‘Great clothes that make you feel like a million dollars.’

‘Claim your space.’

Simple things, but they will make you so much more confident.

So thank you for watching. Remember my twitter address. Tweet me, tell me how it's going. And don't forget subscribe to this channel so you can get more tips as soon as they're released and you can start your week, each week, the confident way. Thank you for watching. My name is Stuart and I love talking to you about confidence. So come back next week, I'll see you then.

How To Reinforce Your Confidence Foundation

How To Reinforce Your Confidence Foundation

CB002 - How to Reinforce Your Confidence Foundation

Having Confidence is one thing…

Keeping it, making it unshakeable in the face of anything is another. In this exciting episode we look at simple exercises you can do right now to start reinforcing your confidence foundation.

As you know, buildings with strong foundations can last forever but others, like the leaning tower of Piza in Italy were built on shaky ground. And, despite their magnificence they start to lean and crumble. Your confidence is no different…

So, what you are going to discover is how to build an even stronger confidence foundation that you can build upon and will help you stay confident forever.

Are you ready for that? Great! Let’s start listening.

 

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Click To Read Show Transcript Now

CB002 - How To Build A Stronger Confidence Foundation

Hi there! Its Stuart here from Double C Coaching and I want to welcome you to another exciting episode of confidence bites where we talk confidence and I give you confidence building tips every week. Now, here I don't know if you remember last week, but we started laying the foundation for your confidence. And that was talking about how you ‘can’ if you really believe in yourself and getting you to commit to doing, to writing your ‘I AM GOOD’ sheet.

Now, here's a sample of my ‘I AM GOOD’ sheet and I hope you’ve got yours handy, because I want you to look at it for few seconds, right this moment. So grab it, take it out of your pocket and look at it. Read it, “I can walk, I'm good”, “I love animals, I'm good”, “I love people, I'm good”; all these things, just do it quickly for a few seconds. And put a smile in your face because smiles help you build confidence.

And what we're going to do today is we're going to expand on this ‘I AM GOOD’ sheet. We're going to start reinforcing your foundations, so you can be confident everyday. So along the same principle, a piece of paper, blank piece of paper, ‘I CAN DO’. Okay. Just think about all the things that you can do and you weren't born being able to do them.

When you were born: you couldn't walk, you couldn't ride, you couldn't speak; but you learnt to do them. And if you look over your life, over the past wonderful years of your life, you will realise that you have learned so many things and that you can do so many things. So this is the next episode 100 things “I CAN DO”. Why is that important? Because you know you've done something that you've learned, it means you can learn again, you can do more. There is no such thing as I can't do that. It's a question, I don't know how to do that, yet. But I can learn, because I've learned so many things.

You know, a few years ago when I first moved to China, I wasn't really into -- into computers. I didn't have an email address, I didn't have a Skype address, I didn't have anything. I didn't know how to… I was scared of computers in some ways. This is only 10 years ago, well, actually I've lived here 13 years now. So this is about 10 to 12, 13 years ago. And you know what I did? I got a computer from the school I was working at. I got my first email address with Yahoo.

I signed up for free and I started learning there and then because, you know, phoning from China to the UK were my family was, it was expensive. I got Skype. I learned how to use Skype.
Now, 10, 12, 13 years later I can program basic websites, I can use WordPress, I can put plugins, I can do the necessary things to upload files to my website, I can use Skype, I can use Zoom, I can use GoToMeeting. I can do so many things with the computer. I'm even recording this video on the computer, and I will edit it myself because I enjoy it.

And do you know what? Why is it I can do those? Because I learned, just the same as I learned to write, just the same as I learned to speak, just as I learned to (whistle)… When I say learned to speak I just can't speak… just the same as I learned to walk, write, speak; everything I've done in my life. I've had to learn. So I don't look at things as ‘I can’t'. I look at things as maybe I don't know, yet. But I know, 100% certainly that I can learn!

So this is why this is important; very, very important. It goes along with the ‘I AM GOOD’ sheet. And what I want you to do is a 100 things again. And remember my Twitter address, you’ll see it below just now. I want you to tweet me and tell me how many things have you got on your lists. It should be a minimum, a minimum of a 100 ‘I AM GOOD’. It should be a minimum of ‘I CAN’.

Go, do it.

You can start now, but I'd rather you watch a little bit more of this video because I've want to share another important tip. It's going to really making your foundation even stronger. And that's what I call a Success Diary.

Now, this can be a little book that you carry around with you, it can be a piece of paper. You could even use your phone or computer for this. But what I want you to do is I want you everyday, a minimum in the evening, before you go to sleep, but sometimes you can do it a little bit more frequently. I want you to write down every single success. And they can be small successes.

But you -- your life is full of success. You do so many things. Let's think about the ‘I AM GOOD’ sheet, okay? I wrote this. So it’s a “success!”, put it in your success diary. I made my ‘I CAN DO’ sheet, I took a piece of paper and a pen, that's a success. I wrote the first one down. That's a success. Did you brush your teeth this morning? Yes, that's a success, every little thing. And of course you can start recording bigger things as well.

But the more successes you have, the more you realise how good you are, the more you realise ‘I CAN’, the more confidence you're building and your foundation of confidence is becoming so solid that nothing will shake it. But just writing alone isn't going to be all. What you need to do, as I said in the other program is you need to set an alarm and look at it every hour.

So you'll have your Success Diary, you'll have your ‘I AM GOOD’, you'll have your ‘I CAN’ sheets. I want you to fold them, put them in your pocket, set your alarm for one hour and then the hour comes up, take them out, look at them,

“Yeeesss! I'm good! I can! I've had so many successes!”

And I made so much excitement that my dog just woke up and he's going to come and say, hello, maybe. So excuse me if he does. No, he's going to, going to sleep somewhere else.

Anyway, let me get back to this. So get your alarm. Set it for one hour. Grab them. Do your victory feeling… or victory salute. Put them away in your pocket so you can feel your goodness, you can feel your ‘I CAN’, you can feel your successes in your pocket every single day. Set your alarm for one hour, go back to your day, happier, more confident for what you've just done.

Remember, how many times you -- you actually took them out everyday and looked at them and smiled because of it. That's a success in itself!

Every single one, put them in your success diary. Record your successes, okay? Did you make a mistake today? Did you do something that which wasn't so good? Yes, great! Why? Because that's a success. That gives you the opportunity to learn. We can learn by mistakes. Sometimes all the best lessons come from mistakes. Write it down, I did this it. It wasn't -- it wasn't so good but I learned this from it. There's my success, there's my lesson I've learned. Okay.

Now, before we finish I want you to think about something which is very important and that is other people.

You know, I can't remember who it was, but there are many people mentioned it, that if we look at your friends, we can tell you where you're going to be in your life in the next few years time.

And I know you've met people who are what we call energy thieves or energy vampires. You meet them and for some reason within a few seconds they just drain all your energy. And you're just dread meeting them because you always go away so drained.

But what I want you to do is I want you to stop identifying these people and planning how to avoid them if you can; if not, how to lessen their impact upon you.

And I understand that sometimes, you know, members of family can be energy vampires. And you can't always avoid the members of family, but you can plan how you react to, how you let them power or disempower you.

And another thing about people is we often need advice, we often need people to go to for advice and that's a great thing. But we have to be careful to find out whether they may have a hidden agenda. And sometimes our best friends, sometimes our family, sometimes our parents, even, can be the worst people to go to advice for, because they've got the own hidden agenda and it may not be known to them, it may not be something they realise.

But let's just take an instance. Say, there is as a father, a proud father. He has got a wonderful daughter. And when his daughter is young, he decides that she is going to be a dentist. He just knows that -- that she's going to be a dentist. So he -- the daughter grows up and he's sort of planning and he is getting this stronger and stronger into his mind that his daughter is going to be a dentist. He tries to arrange the education in that way.

And then guess what, she comes to or she gets to about 16 or 17 or 18, its university time she decides she wants to study fashion and she tries to talk to her father about it and he will not allow it because he's got his mind, his picture of his daughter being a dentist, nothing else. And that can be very, very difficult thing to break free from.

Another typical situation. You -- you're a woman, you have a best friend. Maybe your best friend is very attractive or a little bit more attractive than you, but she’s really built her identity around you . That you know she -- she -- she's with you and this is an unconscious decision quite likely, but she's with you because you're not as attractive as her. And she sort of is always the star of the pair if you like.

So one day you go out shopping together and you see this wonderful dress and you put it on and it makes you look like a million dollars. It makes you look, feel like a million dollars. And you say to your friend, “What do you think?” and you expect her to say, it's great and she says: “No! It doesn't suit you, take it off.” And you feel shocked. You can't understand why she would say something like this.

But something inside her has triggered the competition thing. She doesn't want you to look better than her, so she will unintentionally criticise what you're -- you're doing, criticise the dress. Say it makes you look terrible because she knows subconsciously that she will become second and she doesn't want that. And there are so many instances of this in our life.

And, as I say, we can't always excise those people from our lives, but we can start to understand them we can start looking as our relationships, we can start looking at our relationships with our family. And we can look for the energy thieves.

We can look for the people whose identity could be threatened if we change, if we become more confident, if we become better and they may not like that!

They may have built their whole life around you being as you were not as you're going to be, not as you're becoming. And unless you can understand that, unless you can work with them or in some cases excise them from your life, they're always going to hold you back.

So that's another exercise that we'll be doing a little bit later, but I want you to start thinking about that now. So you can start planning and seeing and identifying where these instances occur in your life, because they drag you down.

Imagine this girl, she put this dress on and it's so beautiful. It made her feel like a million dollars and her best friend, her best friend that she trusts with her life probably says, “No! It makes you look horrible”. Imagine that feeling.

So what I want you to do right now is let that ferment in the back of your mind, let your unconscious work on that. We don't have to worry too much now. The most important thing is the paper. Get your paper. Get your pen. “I am good”. Continue. Have you got 100? Good!. Have you got a 150? Better! Have you gone 200? Not yet. Well, go for it.

Tweet me. Stuart… @StuartDoubleC. You can see it at the bottom.

And then get your paper, Success Diary. ‘I can’, ‘I've learned’. All the things that you've done, all the little things. Can you walk? “Yes! I've learned”. Can you talk? “Yes! I've learned”. Can you sing? “Yes!” All the things that you know you can do, all the things. And that gives you the ability to do so many more, because you know you can do these, you know you can learn and you know you're good.

So go on.

Make your confidence foundation so strong that nobody is ever going to be able to break it

So thank you for watching. Grab your pen, grab your paper, right now and start becoming more confident every single moment of every single day. And don't forget, you must subscribe so you come back for more tips and I look forward to seeing you in the next episode of ‘Confidence Bytes’ where we talk confidence. Where I give you confidence building tips to make your life better than its ever been before. To take you from ordinary to extraordinary.

Thank you once again. Go and be confident.

Dressing For Success

Dressing For Success

How to Land the Job Before You Even Speak

So, you graduated from a renowned university with countless awards, certifications and a GPA worthy of a gold star, but your less than impressive sense of style is ruining your chances of acing that job interview. Don’t fret, you will be dressing the part of a boardroom maven in no time!

While maybe a little unfair, the universal truth is that your appearance dictates the first impression you leave on anyone, especially when you’re faced with a potential employer. What statement do you want to make – you mean business OR you can’t even wrangle your life in enough to put together a tidy, appropriate outfit?

Did you know that a recent study found that 37% of job applicants are rejected because their clothing was deemed inappropriate by their prospective interviewers? While you may have all the qualifications of this prospective job opportunity, looking the part of the qualified, polished applicant can send your confidence levels soaring. If you feel good about your appearance, attire and what your resume will reveal about your impressive accomplishments, those pre-interview nervous jitters will be banished and you’ll be giving the best interview performance of your life.

Stuart and Double C Coaching are revealing some simple, yet powerful tips on how to dress for success – leaving a strong impression on the interviewer, boosting your self-confidence and skyrocketing your chances of getting hired.

 

Prepping for a Job Interview: Dress to Impress

 interview

 

Dress According to Business Culture

Do a bit of research on the nature of your job and put some thought into how your job function should influence what your attire should be. If possible, swing by their office casually or visit the company website to get an idea of the workplace culture and what others wear to the office.  As the saying goes, “Dress for the job you want.”

For instance, if you are applying for a nurse post or daycare center, wearing heels might not be good idea, as the job involves a lot of movement, hustle and time on your feet – opt for a pair of sensible flats instead. Looking for a job that encourages creativity and requires artistic sense? Spice up your outfit with vibrant colored clothing or accessories, instead of corporate colors and showcase your flair for the creative. If you are applying for a makeup artist position, your own makeup should demonstrate your skills and look polished and wearable. Your clothing and makeup choices should demonstrate that you are fit and qualified for the position you are seeking.

Choosing An Outfit

business woman

When deciding on what outfit or dress to choose, lean more towards conservative. Avoid anything that is revealing or could leave you with an embarrassing wardrobe malfunction mid-interview. Leave your casual wear at home – no jeans, sneakers or graphic tees. Structured tops that have at least a cap sleeve, pencil skirts, pantsuits and sheath dresses are all staple job interview attire.

You are allowed to express your personality through your wardrobe choices, even while going for a job interview. Work in some vibrancy, by breaking up a neutral suit with a pop of color in the way off a colorful blouse or scarf. Avoid neon colors, as these are hardly flattering for any skin tone.

Shoes need not be altogether boring, but make sure they are cohesive with your outfit. Avoid any open-toed footwear. If in doubt, a closed toed pair or neutral pumps are always a safe choice. Ensure that you have practiced walking in them and are comfortable with the heel height you have chosen.

After choosing your outfit, make sure all pieces are clean and free from any wrinkles. Your dress shoes or heels should be clean and not visible scuffed.

Choose the Right Fit

Your overall appearance should have a tidy, polished and professional look. Choose clothing that fits well and is in good condition. Ill-fitting clothing can you leave you looking sloppy, not to mention if you are uncomfortable in your clothing, that will translate into your body language. Pants too tight? Not only will this look unflattering, but you will be left fidgeting and losing concentration. If you have trouble finding clothing that fit your body shape, consider visiting a tailor to have your clothing professionally fitted.

Accessorizing Your Perfect Look

Jewelry should complement your clothing, but not overwhelm it. Leave your statement piece necklace that looked glamorous during your girl’s night at home. Opt for tasteful pieces that are classic in design, nothing flashy. When in doubt, less is more. Avoid any jewelry that makes a lot of noise as you move (think how distracting that bangle set will be to your interviewer, while you’re trying to explain why you’re the perfect candidate for the job). Wearing a tasteful wrist watch is a great idea, as it will allow you to have a peek at the time without whipping out your smartphone, which could leave a poor impression on your interviewer. If you’re interviewing for a position in fashion, research the latest trends and pick one to work into your ensemble in a fitting way.

Your makeup choices should make you look polished and refreshed. Avoid dark eye makeup or very heavy blusher. Think of makeup as a tool to enhance your natural beauty and keep the attention on you, not any glaring makeup snafus.

When deciding how to style your hair, think of timeless styles. A sleek up-do or polished ponytail is always office appropriate. Have curly hair? Banish any frizz with a styling crème and use a curling iron to tame any wayward strands.

Consider going for a manicure or giving yourself a spa experience at home with a DIY treatment. Nails should be clean and trimmed to an appropriate length. If you choose to polish your nails, opt for a nude or natural polish color.

Each workplace has a different tolerance of visible tattoos and piercings. If you have any doubt what your prospective workplace’s policy might be, assume it is more conservative. Dress to cover any visible tattoos and wear minimal facial jewelry.

Make Up, Hair & Hygiene

Your makeup choices should make you look polished and refreshed. Avoid dark eye makeup or very heavy blusher. Think of makeup as a tool to enhance your natural beauty and keep the attention on you, not any glaring makeup snafus.

When deciding how to style your hair, think of timeless styles. A sleek up-do or polished ponytail is always office appropriate. Have curly hair? Banish any frizz with a styling crème and use a curling iron to tame any wayward strands.

Consider going for a manicure or giving yourself a spa experience at home with a DIY treatment. Nails should be clean and trimmed to an appropriate length. If you choose to polish your nails, opt for a nude or natural polish color.

When choosing a fragrance, go for something subtle. Wearing a heavy, overpowering perfume is never office appropriate.

Bottom Line

Dress according to your business culture and the position you are applying for. Keep the above tips in mind while choosing your outfit, but always make sure that you feel comfortable in what you are wearing. You want to feel self-confident and your clothing choices are a great way to boost that confidence and allow you to be your true self. After you give a wonderful first impression, be sure to communicate effectively, keep proper posture and be mindful of your body language and always be confident in yourself and what skills and attributes you possess. Good luck (not that you’ll need it)!

 

Simple Exercises You Can Do Right Now To Build More Confidence

Simple Exercises You Can Do Right Now To Build More Confidence

CB001 - Confidence Bytes Show

As you listen to this podcast you’ll discover two very simple confidence building tips - exercises that you can do right now to make you feel better about yourself & start building more confidence.

You’ll also hear one of the funniest stories that will show you the remarkable things you can achieve when there is absolutely no doubt in your capabilities.

Every time I think about this true story it brings tears of laughter to my face and, reminds me of how capable we really are.

Do yourself a favour, listen to it, dry your eyes and take the lesson it contains to heart - you’ll be better for it I guarantee you.

And, don’t forget to regularly do the simple exercises explained in the show, it’s amazing how they will start to change the way you think about yourself… And more confidence comes from a stronger self belief does it not?

That’s enough writing now it’s time for you to go and listen 🙂

Or:

Click To Read Show Transcript Now

CB001 - Confidence Bytes Transcript

Hi, welcome to Confidence Bytes, my name’s Stuart from Double C Coaching and I’m your host for these confidence building tips.

And you may be asking why confidence? Well confidence to me is the golden key to success, you can have the most profound university education, you can know how to do so many things but if you don’t have confidence in your abilities it makes it very difficult for you to do them.

You know, there are many famous people Marilyn Monroe, Fred Astaire, many politicians, many public speakers, many pop stars, who don’t have confidence. They may have the most wonderful skills, they have the most wonderful abilities, but they don’t have the confidence in themselves and it takes a lot of time and effort and energy to try and just show people how good they are.

And you know if you’re always thinking I’m not good enough, I’m not good enough, it can do two things it can make you into a perfectionist which can limit you and it can also bring you down.

But you have skills, you have abilities, you have confidence, it maybe hidden deep inside but you’ve got it.

You’ve definitely have got it.

I don’t doubt for one second that you ever think about I can’t write. Don’t ever doubt for one second that you think about I can’t speak, you just do it naturally.

So, let me give you an example of just how, no doubt, self belief in your abilities can make you do whatever you need to do whenever you need to.

A few years ago I was living in South Africa and my ex-wife now but, her father was sat home watching TV, and they had a bull, an English bull terrier, a white English bull terrier, it weighs about 23-25 kilos and this dog loved to sleep on the child’s bed, the youngest child’s bed, and this one day, Pieter’s sat in the lounge watching TV and the dogs fast asleep, you know snorting away like dogs do, having a dream of whatever he or she was dreaming of.

If you think about the house the lounge is like an upside down L, so the L is there and then the foot of the L goes on this side, and the dog is in the bedroom and the bottom of the L is where there’s a big bay window right across the window and a window seat underneath it.

Now Pieter’s sat in the Lounge and he’s watching TV and he hear’s the bell ring and there is one thing that people don’t do is that they don’t ring the bell because that make the dog so mad, and you can imagine this dog now, she is fast asleep and this bell ring, and she’s like “what the hell” and she so angry she gets up she’s running down she came around the L part into the lounge dining area. And there’s a tiled floor and she’s scratching the floor with her nails trying to get traction and vroom she’s rocketing down and Pieter thinks oh no oh no, so he runs out the patio door around to the other side of the bay window where he sees this policeman walking across and just as a policeman gets in front of the bay wind the whole window explodes.

This white missile from hell erupted straight through the window and Peter stood there in amazement. He didn’t know what was going to happen next, he could just see the shards of glass twinkling in the sun in slow motion, and the policemen, he’s gone, he’s disappeared, and the dog’s coming through the window, and the glass is twinkling the sun, the dog lands on the floor, and then she looks around and shakes herself, little smile on herself and just saunters off causally back into the house and Peter looks up and there was the policeman on the roof of this car about 3 meters away.

And Peter said I didn’t see him move, I don’t know how he got on to that roof, and I guarantee that policeman didn’t even know how, he just knew he could, he didn’t have any doubts in his abilities, he just jumped, just like an Olympic high jumper, he just jumped, no run, standing start, and boom he’s gone. Because he’s not going to hang around for that damned dog, no way, so just think about what you can do if you don’t down yourself, just think about what you can do if you believe how good you are, and let me ask you this question, can you tell me right now, 100, only 100, things that are good about you.

Now if you’re like most people I ask this question to, they start off and see I can do this and I can do this and I can do this and good at this and after about five six, seven they start slowing down, 10 11 12, they’ve run out of steam, they can’t tell me 100 things that are good about them. Now if I say to them, can you tell me 100 bad things, oh yea, one duh duh duh, and it just go through like you know just like a rocket.

Why is it, why is it , that most people know every bad thing about but they don’t know the good things about themselves. So now I want you to change that, I want you to forget about the bad things, ok, there are things that are not so good that we can learn from, yes. But that is a good thing in itself. I did this wrong, I’ve learned the lesson, that’s a good thing, so what I want you to do is take a blank piece of people and take a piece of paper, don’t use your computer don’t use your phone take a piece of paper, write down at the top, ‘I Am Good’.

This is your ‘I Am Good’ sheet, and then write down one, two, three, four, five, six, seven… write down all the good things about you. And don’t stop at 100. I want to know how many more than 100 you can find, and it might take you a few days but that’s okay.

It may take you a week but that’s okay.

Just keep writing just keep writing, every little thing that’s good about you, did you make a mistake, good because now you have the opportunity to learn, what did you learn, I learned this, that’s good, ‘I Am Good’.

Okay?

Can you walk, yes, ‘I Am Good’. Can you run, yes ‘I Am Good’ . Can you write? Yes! ‘I Am Good’. Can you speak? Yes! ‘I Am Good’.

Write everything single thing down. Everything! And don’t think about “I can’t speak very well” or “I can’t write very well” or “I can’t walk very far” or “I can’t run very fast” - that doesn’t matter. You can still walk, you can still speak, you can still run - that’s a good thing!

And think about this, do you realise how special you are, how you are so unique, nobody else in this world is like you. Just think about the years in the past when before you were born, when your mother and father conceived you. Your father produced millions of sperm and those sperm fought to try to get to the egg, which is going to be you.

And one of those sperm, the best one, the best one won. And fertilised that egg and created you. Just think about that.

How special that makes you.

Nobody in the world is quite like you. And that’s a good thing, because imagine the world, imagine the world with everybody the same, it’s not my world, so that’s another thing to put on your ‘I am good sheet’ - OK?

“Nobody else in this world is like me, that’s good”, “I Am Good, because I am unique”.

And here’s the thing now, once you’ve got your 100, or even if you can’t get a hundred today if you can only get 20, if you can only get 30 today, it doesn’t matter.

Take your sheet, fold it, fold it and then put it in your pocket. Keep it with you at all times.

And it needs to be bulky, I want you to feel your goodness in your pocket, I want you to feel your goodness with you everyday single day. And now you’ve put your goodness in your pocket, the next step, very simple step, take out your phone, whatever, it doesn’t matter, what make it is, set an alarm.

One hour, one hour. Set your alarm for one hour and then go about your day when that hour rings stop what you’re doing, obviously if you’re driving find a place to pull over, so that it is safe, but get your ‘I Am Good’ sheet, and just look at it, and just look at all the good things, that are good about you. All the things you’ve written down that’re good about you, and smile, because you are good, this is proof that you have with you that you are good!

OK?

So ‘I Am Good’ because…

And now you’ve done that, it only takes a few seconds, you’ve got a smile on your face, fold it up put it in your pocket feel your goodness, get your phone, set the alarm one more hour. Repeat, repeat, repeat, all day. I guarantee you that if you do this regularly, every hour for one whole week you will feel so differently about yourself, you’ll start thinking, and you will be smiling more and you will be happy and you will be lighter.

And let’s make that mood a little bit more, Smile at yourself, get your phone, put the camera on and look at it, smile, go into the bathroom, look in the mirror, smile! Practice smiling at yourself, and as you look at yourself you say, “do you realise I am so good”, and you smile because it’s a good feeling!

So do that every day many times, every second you can, and start building this… this appreciation for yourself!

One last quick thing that you can do, and you might need to do this in the privacy of your home or something for now or the bathroom. But you, you remember, you know you watched the Olympics and you watched the sports game or you watched a running race or something like that and, the person who wins… Yeeees!!! I’ve won, I’ve won, and they have their arms in the air, they’ve got this victory pose. Do it! Stand in front of the mirror and do it for about two or three minutes and feel how much energy it gives you, see your face transform - it’s going to give you so much power.

Maybe what you should do first is take out your sheet, look at it, I’m good, Yeeees!!

I guarantee that you will make the biggest difference in your life, the way you think about yourself.

So go away, grab your paper right now and start writing, and don’t forget to subscribe to this channel, so you can come back any time to watch this video again or see any of the more exciting confidence building tips that I’m going to share with you.

And I tell you what, I’m going to leave a twitter address here, I want you to twitter me or tweet me with how many you are at, and I want to have a challenge to see how many tweets, sorry, how many good things you can tell me about yourself, are you at a hundred, are you at 110? Are you at 200, are you at 500, are you at a 1000?

Let me know because the more you think about yourself in a good way the more you smile the more you smile the happier you are the lighter you are and the more confident you become.

So thank you for watching. Grab your paper, grab your pen, start writing ‘I Am Good’, because duh duh duh, and then go for it! I’m looking forward to seeing you in the next week or so, so we will speak then, go away and be confident. Thanks for watching. Bye.

Coping with Stress

Coping with Stress

Coping with Stress at Work

Coping with Stress

If you have ever been late in submitting a report at work then you know what stress is. Stress is the set of emotions and feelings that you experience when placed under pressure. With the demands of the hectic work life these days, it almost seems as if stress has become the norm. People don’t even realise that they’re stressed and continue on in this state indefinitely; this can have harmful mental, as well as physical effects.

If not managed stress can slowly start to permeate all aspects of your life and you may find yourself (more…)

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